You could find a lot of flaws with that management style, but I want to focus on just one: the way my boss closed himself off from conversation. It was a management gaffe then. But it would be an even bigger mistake now, in the Age of the Conversation.

Regardless of what you do for a living, if you’re not out there asking questions, listening, seeking input, collaborating and taking part in the larger conversation, you’re going to have trouble rolling with change. Because here’s the thing: a new style of conversation is transforming the way we do business.

Here’s where I’ve seen it happening lately:

1. Even Obama is picking up the phone to talk. According to a New York Times article, he makes at least two dozen calls a day in an attempt to stay connected to — and glean information from — the outside world.

It’s no surprise that President Obama calls heads of state and high-ranking advisors. That’s a given. But he’s also tapping into a group of people outside “the bubble.” He’s using his spare moments (not something he has in spades) to stay connected to a larger, more-fluid-than-ever conversation, because that’s where he’ll hear reactions that are relevant, unpredictable, maybe even perspective-altering.

2. Inspired by Obama’s presidential campaign, nonprofits are getting in on the act of using social networks to rally people around a cause. The best fundraisers are leveraging social networking tools like Twitter, Facebook and MySpace. They’re using micro-conversations, rather than enormous campaigns.

One example: Last month’s Twestival was organized on Twitter and raised more than $250,000 for clean water in Africa and India. The Christian Science Monitor described the evolution of Twestival this way:

The Twestival, which wrapped on Feb. 12, had little trouble generating buzz. Only hours after founder Amanda Rose made public her plans for the campaign in January, the news went viral, spiraling out across hundreds of blogs and Twitter feeds. Soon, Ms. Rose had secured a small army of volunteers and a team of corporate partners including TipJoy, which allowed users to contribute directly online.

3. Smart business leaders have stopped frowning on water-cooler conversation, and some (like biggies Cisco and Microsoft) fully embrace the collaboration that social networks spark.

I recently did an interview with Brad Brinegar, CEO of McKinney, an agency that propelled itself into the big league by taking innovative approaches to a business model that hasn’t changed much since the advent of television. At McKinney, they’re all about the conversation.

When you visit McKinney at their former-tobacco-factory offices, you’ll notice lots of gathering spaces. Brinegar says he spent a year planning a space that would force more collaboration and conversation between left- and right-brainers. It has 50 nooks and crannies to allow for “natural interactions,” Brinegar told me. The office is sprawled across one-and-a-half floors, instead of climbing vertically. There’s Wi-Fi throughout, a coffee bar, and no mail delivery — you have to pick it up yourself, which means you’ll likely bump into someone on your way there.

Meeting rooms at McKinney

McKinney Cafe

He also compressed office spaces to a quarter of the size of previous offices. Why? ”Creative people sometimes need to shut off the world and work. We made it private enough for them to have that space, but not enough to encourage them to perch there more than was natural,” Brinegar says.

Equally important, “it’s very easy to get to me,” he says. “I have glass walls, so people can always see me. My assistant has a heart attack because she can’t control the flow of people into my office.”

All hands on deck

Initially, the new layout was so different from what they’d had before that a lot of people hated it. “But from the morning we walked in,” he says, “the agency entirely changed the way it operated. People that I’d always asked to collaborate all of a sudden were. The structure of the space released people’s natural inclination to collaborate.”

Another thing about a good conversation? It’s usually free. Which makes this one workplace trend sure to thrive throughout 2009.

[Top image from Twitter; all others courtesy of McKinney]

First, these A-line girls’ skirts, made by my friend Lizzy.

Lizzy’s one of those people who is mega-talented with a needle and thread but you’d almost never know it, unless you happen to show up at our neighborhood park for the Halloween parade and see the crazy-elaborate costumes she’s sewn for her daughters. She’s absurdly modest.

Here’s part of the bio from her Etsy profile page:

“For years I worked on set and in costume studios making, altering, shopping for, caring for, distressing and destroying all things apparel. I’ve made slacks for Brad Pitt and I’ve remade bras for Tyra Banks. I’ve dyed for Winona Ryder and I survived The Sopranos and now I’m making stuff from home.”

Next, these caramel-filled, chocolate-covered robin’s eggs at Parker & Otis. Like Jordan Almonds, they fit dreamily against the tongue, and the caramel filling is something unexpected. These are definitely going in the adult Easter baskets.

Also from Parker & Otis, some relish. Comes in hot or mild, and if you’re a person who likes a pickled cucumber now and again, this jar would love to introduce itself to you. P&O owner Jennings Brody told me exactly how to use it: Grill a 98% fat-free turkey burger, top it with P&O’s pimento cheese and this relish. It’s a life-changer.

Finally, something from Dolly’s Vintage. I bought a set of these one-of-a-kind hair clips for my daughter today. Just lovely, and they actually work. And at $10ish, they’re the perfect recessionary-ready splurge.

Only here’s the thing: After I write a newsletter, a “panel of experts” on the Sesame side reviews it, weighing in on whether I’ve just given good or bad parenting advice. Imagine having a panel of experts milling around your house, raising a red flag when you’ve just done a poor bit of parenting. That’s kinda how it feels.

Recently, for example, I wrote about helping my kids handle feelings of anger or frustration. As in, what do you do when your 6 year old and 4 year old are both yelling at each other like two drunks, and you figure that at any minute, Patrick Swayze is going to have to come over and ask them to leave the bar? What sorts of tactics can you use to help them channel their emotions so they can have a non-yelling conversation?

One tip (which I heard from a mom friend who has twins) was to let your kid hit a pillow. You’ve heard this advice before, right? It’s nothing new.

Here’s what the expert panel said:

The act of hitting, even when directing the action at an object like a pillow, can actually strengthen angry emotions and increase children’s (or adults’) angry feelings rather than dispel them. We recommend sticking with the other great ideas — taking a deep breath and counting to ten.

In other words, hitting a pillow makes you angrier. Even though this wasn’t technically my advice and I don’t use this one at home, I still felt a bit like one of those parents on “Supernanny” who’s just been caught on videotape doing something patently bad.

That’s all to say that you and your kids may want to steer clear of this anger-management tactic.

Goal: Make like The Bloggess and try full-on personal grooming in the a.m.

Though I would truly love to be one of these women, I simply have not internalized the idea that a full-on morning beauty ritual will affect the outcome of my day.

My mornings are a whirl of lunchbox packing, little-girl dressing, coat (and hat and mitten) finding, and coffee drinking. Since I don’t have to dress for anyone but the parents I see at school drop-off and I’m already busy enough, I don’t worry much about my uniform: jeans and a ponytail.

And that’s the benefit of being a freelancer, right? You’re the boss. If you want to spend your day in fuzzy bedroom slippers, you’re entirely free to.

Mind you, I’m not working in my pajamas or anything. Right this moment, I’m completely dressed and my hair is brushed. But I think I may have a little spaghetti sauce on my sweater, and I’m noticeably sans lip gloss.

And I know this about myself: I have a tendency to forget about how I look when my head is fully engaged in freelance work. Before I was married, a roommate once had to stop me from dashing out of the apartment for lunch, wearing an ensemble that bordered on bag-lady chic. “Seriously, you can’t go out like that,” she said, god love her.

I wonder, would I be more successful if I curled my eyelashes before sitting down at the computer each morning?

For the rest of this week, an unscientific experiment: What tangible and intangible benefits might a freelance girl derive from stepping up her morning grooming habits?

Sometimes, though, it happens.

Yesterday, younger daughter huffs into the room. She’d been playing with her dad in another room, and judging from her expression, something wasn’t going her way. She says in her lilty, lispy voice, “Daddy is just a teeny, tiny, tiny, teeeeeeny, little, tiny …”

And this went on for a while, until finally she says, “teeny tiny bit … stupid. Just a little bit. I hate to say that in our house. But it’s true.”

Saying “stupid” in our house is like dropping the F-bomb. You just don’t do it. And I’ve been firm on this issue, because I’ve been hearing the word a lot lately, thanks to a certain classroom friend of younger daughter’s who says the word frequently at school. There’s always one, isn’t there?

But how do you not laugh at that? I literally had to turn away. I couldn’t even manage to talk about why she was angry or help her deal with her frustration because I was afraid I’d snort right in her face.

The upside is that I now have a new track to play in my head whenever I’m feeling bothered by a bad driver or stupid difficult person: “You’re just a little, tiny, teeeeny, tiny …”

Three jolts of sugary marvelousness to hit the sweet spot:

South ‘n’ France, based in Wilmington, N.C., marries sweet Southern ingredients with classic French techniques. The result? Hand-chopped, hand-rolled, hand-dipped bon bons in six fab flavors, such as Peanut Buttah and Pistachio (shipped anywhere). C’est bon, y’all.

Daisy Cakes: Durham locals, you normally find them in the Airstream parked near the Durham Farmer’s Market on Saturdays. But this week, call ahead to order a special Valentine’s cupcake sampler, wrapped up with a sweet pink ribbon. They even throw in a heart-shaped cookie cutter and cookie recipe. Exquisite flavors include a Vanilla Bean Cupcake, with passion fruit cream and milk chocolate buttercream.

Sugardaddy’s: Perfect for an office delivery Monday, after the sugar high of the weekend has worn off. Opt for an order of dunkable Brownie Biscotti — essentially made from the “cut away” edges of the edgeless brownies and blondies.

What else is worthy of mention?

(Photo from www.sprinklescupcakes.com)

Poll your kids on whether to have pizza or Veggie Delight for dinner, and you’ll likely see a swift show of hands. Kids are capable of weighing in on much meatier matters, though. By encouraging children to be good citizens now, children are more likely to grow into adult voters. And not just warm bodies at the polls, but informed, engaged voters. In other words, good citizens.

My older daughter at the Kids Voting booth

To raise a good citizen of your own, try these ideas:

Bring democracy to your dining room table. Illustrate the power of voting by asking younger kids, “Have you and your friends ever had to make a decision about something that was hard to agree on? Well, voting is a fair way to make decisions.” Then take a vote on something – like what activity to do next.

Engage older kids in political debate by talking about issues that interest them – like making college more affordable, raising the minimum wage, or lowering the legal voting age. Then help them turn passion into action by writing a letter to the editor or volunteering for a campaign.

Make community service a must. You don’t have to save snow leopards in Nepal to show your children the value of giving back. Doing good in your own backyard fosters civic engagement, not to mention a deeper sense of connection to the community. Volunteer to stock shelves at a soup kitchen or clean up a local river. Get more ideas at The Volunteer Family.

Whet their civic appetites by giving kids the vote. If you don’t already have a Kids Voting program in your community, consider starting one. I’ve volunteered as a precinct captain for Kids Voting Durham for the past several years. And on every Election Day, I swear I’m brought to tears at least once as I watch those kids sliding their ballots into the box, brimming with pride.

Stock your library with civic-minded reads. For grades K-2, try Being a Good Citizen (Way to Be!) by Mary Small. The book explains that by picking up trash or planting flowers, you’re being a good citizen. For grades 5-8, the ABC book D is for Democracy walks kids through concepts like immigration, taxation, and even zeitgeist.

Both drive home the fact that being a good citizen isn’t just about rights. It’s also about responsibilities.

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Park you in front of the sale rack and you’re in your element — able to discern at a glance which items are snatch-em-up-fast-even-if-it-means-prying-them-out-of-granny’s-hands. And which need to be nudged down the rack with a flick of the fingertips.

But when it comes to shopping around for decent airfare rates, you may as well be staring at listings on the Tokyo stock exchange. (“What does it all mean? Is this one a good deal? Or will I be metaphorically slapping my forehead in two weeks when the price plunges?”)

That’s why Farecast is the shopping buddy you long for. Seriously.

Its “know when to buy” technology compares and filters information from many travel websites to tell you whether to buy the airline ticket now (fares are bound to go up soon) or wait a week (your patience will repay you tenfold, Grasshopper).

And it performs the same trick for hotel rates. Once you’ve found the price that’s right for you, the site sends you packing to the airline or hotel site, so you can book direct.

Because this buddy knows better than to get between a girl and her deals.

Lisa Bodell of futurethink

The other day I interviewed Lisa Bodell, CEO of futurethink. She’s a hybrid — a cross between a futurist and an innovation consultant. She says that meeting new people is one of the best ways to spark new ideas. (And here’s a woman who has to come up with new ideas.)

She told me:

“I have to meet one new person a week who’s completely different from myself. In one week, I met the admiral of the Coast Guard, the head of the WHO, psychics, the head of a group of maids … Every perspective counts. It’s the wild card that’s going to be the next big thing.”

Even before I spoke with Lisa, I’d heard about this tactic. My friend Ellen, who is not a futurist, swears by it. (And since Ellen is one of my smartest friends, I tend to do what she says.)

A few years ago, when Ellen was feeling a little stagnant in her career as a video producer, she sent a message out to her friends: “If you’re going to an interesting event, let me know — even if you think it’s not up my alley — because I might want to join you.”

Ellen started going to all sorts of events that she’d never dreamed of going to, and she met all sorts of people. Some of them needed help with projects, and she offered help and advice whenever she could. A handful ended up becoming clients. Most importantly, though, meeting new people led her down new paths. She began doing work that more closely resembled documentary filmmaking — a long-simmering dream of hers.

Their point, Lisa’s and Ellen’s, is this: Meeting unexpected people can spark new ideas, or energize your career in unexpected ways. You can’t possibly know. So leave room on your calendar for it.